Ever have times when you think to yourself, “I want to be so many things and so many different people all at once, but I only have one life. How do I choose?”

I know I sure have those moments. Sometimes they come as a contemplative thought, other times as a slap in the face in the middle of the night. Don’t even ask where my mind goes then.

It’s akin to being in one of those designer cupcake shops, with all the differently flavored and decorated delicacies pulling you in a million directions. “Should I go for the butter crème frosting, or the red Devil’s Food cake? Hmmm. Maybe the Key Lime? Oh heck, just give me all of them!” To say the least, it can be a dizzying experience that leaves us frazzled. And, at the risk of comparing it to a cupcake, life is often that way too.

Maybe it’s a compilation of the movies we watch, the magazines we read or the constant stream of internet that tantalizes our wanton to crawl into someone else’s adventure or intriguing tale because it looks so much more appealing than our own. Perhaps it’s a lack of focus when it comes to organizing our thoughts, dreams and priorities. Whatever it is, there seems to be something about some beautiful place or accomplished person that appeals to us more than our own life.

If we only took the time to look at our own story, we would most likely find it is more intriguing, adventurous and appealing than anything we read in a book, watch on television or how we imagine the beautiful model’s life on the pages of Vogue Magazine. It is when we begin to acknowledge our innate ability to craft our own life story and make our own choices that we truly grow into the person we want to be.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. —Oscar Wilde

As funny and witty as this might seem, it’s a frank way to summarize the truth. It is impossible to be yourself if you don’t know, understand, and accept yourself. It should be your primary goal to find this out.

Yes, simply put, you’ve got to do the work.

Find the time to learn upon what you value and take time to consider what makes up the essence of who you are.

It is not so much a question of deciding who you want to be, as it is a question of discovering who you are. Everything you are is already inside of you – sometimes you just need a little guidance on finding the right key to unlock the vault.

5 steps designed to help you become clear on just who YOU are:

1.   Just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s true. Take some time to ponder this thought. What things are engrained in your mental thought process that could use some housecleaning?

2.   We all have baggage. Some you were born with, some you picked up along the way. How might you be able to segregate this baggage into three priority buckets, from most immediate to deal with to, “I will continue to acknowledge this baggage, but I won’t allow it to negatively influence my life?”

3.   Write a list of the things that are most important to you in your life. Hint: Think of ALL areas of your life – and don’t be surprised if that list requires more than one sheet of paper.

4.   Who you are BEING is more important that what you are doing. Actions speak louder than words and action expresses priorities. “Be” first.

5.   Clarify what you are passionate about. Ask yourself, “WHY” am I doing what I am doing or “WHY” am I not. Ask yourself if what you are doing creates joy and fulfillment. Do you feel expanded or contracted?

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